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Results: Batch 10

2009-04-21T22:52:00.005-04:00

Time for results. I haven't had the time to do any new previews for the past couple of weeks because i've been working on a new business. I will try and spend some more time getting new ones up.

Anyway:

1. Fast & Furious - Predicted 40-59%, actual turned out to be 36%. Don't feel too bad about this one, I was pretty close and it could have gone either way.

2. Dragonball: Evolution - Predicted 0-19%, actual turned out as 30%. I am surprised about this one, simply because the movie just looks so incredibly terrible it's hard to comprehend how any critic was able to give this a thumbs up. I suppose I may have underestimated the camp/ironic factor....but come on that can only carry a movie so far before it wears off and you realize that you're trapped in the same darkened room with this movie.

3. Hannah Montana: The Movie - Predicted 60-79%, result 46%. I overestimated the value of the wholesome appeal here, once again I should have stuck to my newly developed rules about children's movies.

4. Observe and Report - Predicted 40-59%, result 54%. Spot on, nothing interesting to comment on here.

Only 1 out of 4 this time, not a good set of results. Although I feel I should at least have 2 out of 4 because whoever Dragonball: Evolution as a thumbs up was clearly high. Until next previction.

4-in-1 Extravanganza! It slices, it dices, it previcts!

2009-03-29T15:40:00.006-04:00

Fast & Furious
Why not 4Fast, 4Furious? I really feel that title would intrigue people much more as well as capture the feeling that the series just keeps getting more fast and more furious...er.

I can't say the movie looks terrible, especially compared to its brethren, but that does not mean its good. Vin Diesel always brings a fun amount of grit to a role so I feel his re-appearance here will salvage some points for this otherwise braindead franchise . 40%-59%

The Ugly Truth
The plot for Ugly Truth has been done a million times over, that is evident in the first 15 seconds of the trailer. That is an immediate point deduction for predictability (*COUGH* Slumdog Millionaire). However, Butler and Heigl do appear to have some chemistry brewing between them which could save it from critical panning. 40%-59%

Hannah Montana the Movie
Hannah Montana is actually from Tennessee despite her name and she gets dumped back there for a lesson in good ol' country values. This movie is really hard to call as I never have any idea how critics respond to kids movies.

The Hannah Montana movie looks decent enough with passable acting from Miley Cyrus and a decent enough story. Despite my personal revulsion for most of the new Disney franchises i'm going to have to give this a 60%-79%.

Observe and Report
New Seth Rogan material, think Paul Blart but slightly less slapstick and slightly more man-child humor. It has potential but the pacing looks slightly weird with some shots that deviate from the normal comedy look, but they look funny enough. I'm going to take a chance it score it one level higher than I think it will be. 60%-79%.

Results - Batch 9

2009-03-29T15:21:00.002-04:00

Results time! Apologies for the (basically) month long hiatus on predictions and results, things have been busy and watching trailers fell by the wayside.

1. Race to Witch Mountain - Predicted 40%-59%, ended up as an average 46%. Nothing too surprising here. The Rock does not disappoint.

2. Sunshine Cleaning - Predicted 60%-79%, average critic score of 66%.

3. The Great Buck Howard - Predicted 40%-59%, average critic score of 68%. I'm not too disappointed by this one, it was hard to call since it all depended on the quality of Malkovitch's performance which could have been hit or miss.

So there you go, only three results today. I have scores for "All About Steve" and "The Horsemen" waiting to be compared, but for some reason Tomatoes and MetaCritic don't have scores despite the release (wide in both cases too) date already passing.

Results: Batch 8

2009-03-11T13:47:00.005-04:00

Results time! Another successful batch. 3 of 4 guessed correctly.

1. Fired Up - FU didn't fail to live up to the cookie cutter expectations

2. Madea Goes to Jail - My guess was close but didn't quite make it at 40% compared to the 39% that happened. At least I know a baseline for Tyler Perry movies now.

3. Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li - It was as bad as it looked and then some.

4. Watchmen - Spot on. Unwilling to interpret means unable to cop any love from the critics.

Watchmen: By the Book, Perhaps Too Much...

2009-03-01T12:08:00.009-05:00

Ok, here's the big one, the whole enchilada, the full monty, and other such things...I'm going devote a decent amount of time here to previewing the Watchmen movie, afterall it is my namesake.

Watchmen was originally a comic series created in 1985 which depicted the lives of retired superheroes against the backdrop of a world edging closer to nuclear annihilation. Writer Alan Moore gave us not only fallible, but thoroughly human protagonists, lacking true special powers save for the nuclear-age spawn Dr. Manhattan. Moore created a story so skillfully interwoven with the sociopolitical history of America and with such compelling characters that it rightfully elevated the comic book medium to a new level of legitimacy.

And ultimately Zack Snyder's film adaptation of Watchmen will hinge on the believability of the characters and nothing else. Critics are unlikely to give the movie a 'bye' if it only succeeds in capturing the visuals and given the quality of the source material that is more than fair. There's nothing wrong when you're thrown a script and the rights to a couple of back issues of The Punisher but when you're dealing with Watchmen you better at least try and get it right.

Visually, Snyder's Watchmen is a beautiful rendering of the comic, in the trailer alone you can pick out three scenes constructed shot for shot from the comic. The heroes also look quite good in their costumes, Rorschach in particular is a highlight with great attention paid to his inkblot mask. The effect comes off perfectly and I look forward to seeing what expressions Rorschach is given for different situations. I watched the behind the scenes exclusives on YouTube which show the impressive detail that went into the set and character designs, needless to say they spent a lot of time on it.

But, as with all comic book movies, the acting is the area that merits the most attention and concern. Much of the trailer dialogue comes right out of the comic book and mostly lacks the emotion to give it weight beyond plot exposition. Again Rorschach is a bright spot in the acting , but at times it feels like without his rasping drawl he would be as flat as the next hero. Dr. Manhattan is the shakiest in the trailer, with a voice that comes off as whiny and pinched, but that's just my personal preference for a guy who can mess with physics to have a voice that matches his power...

A big part of the acting issue is also that they're reading lines straight from the comic book. I maintain that the vast majority of comic book writing is not meant to be read aloud. That is why I am a huge fan of directors following their own interpretation of source material rather than just using the novel as a visual screenplay.

Overall the movie feels like too much of a direct translation of the comic book and that will most likely dampen the creativity needed to properly bring Watchmen to the screen. It will get serious points from fanboys for being true to the look but probably lose for being so dry in the acting area. Expectations are high and the movie can certainly expect to get hit critically if it does not live up to them...this isn't a Street Fighter movie after all....60%-79%

Quick Ones

2009-02-27T13:06:00.002-05:00

I don't have the time to do full previews, so here are some quick score-only previctions.

All About Steve - 20%-39%
Race to Witch Mountain - 40%-59%
Sunshine Cleaning - 60%-79%
The Horsemen - 20%-39%

Slumdog Millionaire Wins Everything

2009-02-23T15:36:00.002-05:00

Slumdog Millionaire? Really? Apparently I am one of the few who don't hold this movie in such high glistening, gold-plated regard because I am dumbfounded that it won 8 Oscars last night. The most surprising of all being the award for Best Picture.

The movie has a hokey and extremely predictable plot with steady, but average acting at best. It is a very good movie with a lot of heart, but not a great movie by any means. I'll not go into further since there are several thousand other blogs and forums posts about this movie, just registering my general confusion.

Fired Up: Another Cookie Cutter Pie

2009-02-17T14:02:00.003-05:00

Basically here's what went through producer's mind.

Wedding Crashers + American Pie 2 = Fired Up = MONEY

One of the guys even looks like Owen Wilson (to throw you off it's the guy with brown here though).

There's not too much else to cover. It's shot exactly how you would expect a teen movie to be, it's written the same way, and i'm sure it pulls it off the same way for the same audience. Slightly boring actually since it's not really good or really bad.

Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun Li

2009-02-17T13:21:00.005-05:00

Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun Li : Trailer 1 @ Apple

Oh my, oh my, oh my...I never thought this movie would see the light of day but apparently some desperate producer decided to push it through the B-movie pipeline. So now, for our viewing pleasure, we have the hairclog of movies that is sure to be Street Fighter: the Legend of Chun Li (Street Fighter from here out).

The movie has some horrendous shots in the trailer...IN THE TRAILER. In the very piece of medai that the vast majority of people are going to use in deciding whether to give you money or not. That alone is a very, very bad sign because it suggests that the rest of the movie is hiding even worse visual surprises. The costumes are a rare plus mainly because they made the correct choice of not making Kristin Kreuk wear the Chinese dress and Princess Leia hairmuffs (donuts?). After that the positive comment well starts to run a little dry. The action looks horribly choreographed and shot from the most boring angles possible with a slow-motion effect added in by iMovie. Vega's mask is straight out of the nearest Halloween party store and reminds me far too much of something from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. And the final shot includes a Chun-Li shooting some kind of lethargic mist cloud at us instead of the fireball she's supposed to have. Needless to say the movie fails quite emphatically in the visual and CG portion of the test. Does anyone have good money on the acting to be even passable? I have a bridge to sell you as well if you do.

During the development of this film I think there might have been an extremely brief 5-second window where it could have been salvaged and transformed into something mildly entertaining. But clearly the CRAP fail-safe point was breached quite quickly and people will forever be consigned to watching Street Fighter in an ironic fashion. A similar fail-safe point is going to exist for people who see this on opening night; I figure there will be about a 5-second window (right in between the production house logos and when the first shot appears) for them to escape before they are sucked in too far to the movie and have to see how the trainwreck resolves itself.

I nominate this movie for the "First 0%-19% of 2009" award. Oh look it won!

Madea Goes to Jail: Once More into the Fray, Mad Black Woman

2009-02-17T13:10:00.004-05:00

I've never seen a Tyler Perry trailer before, let alone a full movie of his, but it seems like he has a formula that works considering there are apparently 4 other Madea movies I never heard about. A look at the trailer and it's easy to see what that the secret formula consists of racial carictures and celebrity cameos. Hey, whatever works...

The movie looks passable enough to get a 40%. I'll start there since I have no baseline experience with Tyler Perry movies. Moving on....

Results: Batch 7

2009-02-10T10:51:00.003-05:00

Results time! Another good batch with 3 of 4 guessed correctly.

1. Coraline - Turned out to be a critical favorite as predicted. Nothing much to comment on.

2. Fanboys - Turned out to be crap as predicted. Strangely (or maybe not so) this post gets the most hits, and flames, out of any other one. It seems that Star Wars fanboys love to argue on the internet... who would have thought.

3. HJNTIY - I missed by a 6% margin, apparently some critics were able to find the one good apple in this huge tub of sours.

4. Push - Just as bad as it looked.

Push: More Like....Mush

2009-02-10T10:02:00.006-05:00

Quick one, especially since the movie has already been released/reviewed (I haven't looked at it of course). Incomplete sentence preview time!

People with magic powers. Gladiator-guy here. Career not going well seems. Poor guy. Dakota Fanning too? Silly girl. Many exploding things. Yay shattering glass. Ooh that will leave a mark. Now some crap about no fate. Ooh more guns.

Well that's pretty much the jist of the movie. It looks to have a plot as predictable as a parking lot and equivalent acting depth.

He's Just Not That Into You: Oh My God, Like For Sure.

2009-02-05T09:39:00.003-05:00

The first thing that strikes you upon watching the trailer for He's Just Not That Into You is that it employs pretty much EVERY SINGLE B-LIST ACTOR IN HOLLYWOOD. Just look at the movie poster, it has 9 faces on it alone. Let's think for a minute what that means. If the movie is the average 120 minutes running time, that's about 14 minutes of screen time for each of those actors to do their thing. I think it's safe to say that no one is going to be pulling an Anthony Hopkins and weaving Oscar magic out of those 14 minutes, although Mac-guy might pull out some kind of surprise performance who knows.

He's Just Not That Into You is based....ok wait, I can't even write that anymore, it's just a ridiculous amount of letters/words/20something dating speak to have in a movie title, it is hereafter abridged into HJNTIY, continue...on the popular chick-lit novel of the same title. The story follows our previously mentioned 9 protagonists and their awkward, misread signals, do-you-want-to-come-up-for-coffeee dating lives. Is the movie going to progress through a bunch of awkward dates, follow-ups, growing affection and then culminate in a series of platitudes about dating and love in general? You bet! Well it may not culminate in platitudes, i'm sure they will be sprinkled generously throughout the story.

It's not that i'm generally against chick-lit or romcom movies (I actually thought Devil Wears Prada was quite funny), it's more that i'm against movies which clearly know they're going to make a dumptruck full of money and do things like shove nine names into the tagline.

Dear reader, do try and avoid seeing HJNTIY, I think your brain will thank you for it.

HJNTIY is due out February 6th.

The Great Buck Howard: You Are Getting Sleeepy...

2009-02-05T08:54:00.002-05:00

At first glance The Great Buck Howard is a somewhat odd movie. It sits squarely in the comedy-biopic world as it follows the fictional life of Howard, but at the same time jarringly reminds the viewer of its fabrication with cameo celebrity appearances. Maybe that's what the director was aiming for but it doesn't sit quite right in the trailer.

Malkovitch is a great casting choice, and his performance looks quite funny, I don't know if the rest of the movie is up to snuff though. I'm going to rate it in the middle because of the decent chance that Malkovitch is the only really entertaining part of it.

The Great buck Howard is due in theaters March 20th.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics

2009-02-04T17:06:00.003-05:00

Here are my overall results and a nice picture of Uncle Sam for you.

I love Excel. Well except for the fact that there doesn't seem to be any good way of displaying an excel table in a blog. Unfortunately this means i'm going to have to PrintScreen and copy-paste everything. I didn't realize but I don't think anybody who has come actually was able to see the results i'm posting....I'll fix the old posts when I get a chance. Ok, the results.

Basically I accurately predicted the scores of 9 of 29 movies. Statistically I had a 10.84% chance of doing this by pure luck (specifically that is the chance of predicting 9 or more correctly, not just 9 which would be something like 5%); that means the result does not yet fall into that much coveted category of "statistically significant". Did you know that every time you say "statistically significant" a social scientist somewhere orgasms? It doesn't matter if the correlation is meaningless, it's statistically significant! I digress....

So Uncle Sam is giving you attitude up there because we want to be at least 95% sure that all this is not just a big, 5-sided die flipping fluke. We'll see if the score improves as the sample size gets larger.

Fanboys: TERRIBLEOUSNESS. RUN.

2009-02-04T11:09:00.008-05:00

F anboys: Trailer @ Official Page

Let me begin by saying that this movie looks TERRIBLE. Basically it's about a bunch of Star Wars "Fanboys" (see the nice title connection?) who hatch a terrible scheme to steal an early print of The Phantom Menace so they can be the first fans in the world to witness how terrible it is...ok well they don't know that last part, only we do because we all watched it with high hopes for seeing something that wasn't the cinematic equivalent of a CG'd dogpoo on a stick. Along the way they are sure to run into a predictable share of pot, sexy girls, and Star Wars references. These things on their own (or together) are certainly not bad things but the cast members looks like they have the delivery of a drunk milkman....TERRIBLE.

And actually there are probably a LOT of Star Wars references given that the trailer was stuffed full of them. Expect that to get old very quickly.

So really this movie has all the elements necessary for a perfect storm of TERRIBLENESS. Add into the mix the guy from Balls of Fury (one of the worst movies I have ever seen btw, not even the comedic value of Christopher Walkin was able to save it) as a main character and it's time to break out the rain slickers. Did I mention that this movie looks TERRIBLE.

IT LOOKS TERRIBLE. AVERT YOUR EYES.

This terrible concoction is coming out February 6th.

No. of times Terrible used in this post: 10

Coraline: Creepy Fun for the Fam

2009-02-03T17:31:00.005-05:00

I am convinced that Henry Selick lives in a grotesque, yet fun world of his own making somewhere in the foothills of Pennsylvia, kind of like an evil Willy Wonka. It must be an absolute blast to go to a house party though, someone is sure to get eaten by something.

Coraline is infused with the gothic, cute creepiness that Selick introduced us to in The Nightmare Before Christmas, although this time around the palette has been expanded a considerable amount from the black, white and orange of its predecessor. It looks quite good, with attractive animation and design for both characters and sets.

It sounds like Dakota Fanning did a great job on the voice acting for Coraline, so no beef there. Story good, voice acting good, visuals good. Solid all around. This is certainly not a Pixar movie, but what's the point in imitating someone else when you have an excellent style of your own? I think it will win big for creativity.

Coraline is due out February 6th.

Results: Batch 6 or the Winningest Week of All

2009-02-02T10:55:00.006-05:00

Ahh a much improved week (or two) of Previction results for you. I did well, guessing 3 of 5 scores correctly. Let's do the rundown:

1. Inkheart - I was off by pretty much an entire score category, no cookies to be had there. Methinks I should not place so much stock in British accents. However, I think there is also something to be said about score deflation for Kids movies due to the "stuck-up reviewer" effect I mentioned in the previous results post. Anway, big miss.

2. Killshot - I don't really understand what this was about. This movie was supposedly going to be released two weeks ago but neither RottenTomats or Metacritic have a score, so I N/A'ed it.

3. Underworld: RotL - I continue to be able to accurately predict crap! Sure enough when it looks like a crap vampire movie, walks like a crap vampire movie, and sounds like a crap vampire movie IT IS!

4. New in Town - Score was as predictable as the movie. 'Nuff said.

5. Taken - Missed by 7%! So unfortunate. I haven't had the chance to see this movie and do want to go. Did anyone see it last weekend?

6. The Uninvited - Seems like it turned out poorly as predicted. That's too bad since it does have actors that I generally like in it.

Some people have expressed interest in seeing my overall results. I'm going to post those as soon as I can put them in a more readable format.

Re: New Logo and Not Looking Like Crap

2009-02-02T09:55:00.002-05:00

I am tired of the generic Blogger template and I desperately need a logo and better graphics for the site. Unfortunately, being artistically uninclined is a pretty big obstacle to having an awesome looking custom site. I mean if I just needed to slap something up in Photoshop and use the 'blur' filter I might be ok, but we're talking actual original graphics here. That's way beyond my B.A. in MS Paint.

Anyone know someone who can help?

The Uninvited

2009-01-30T10:17:00.006-05:00

The Uninvited: Trailer 1 @ AppleTrailers

The Uninvited is the second installment of the "Horror Movie Titles that Begin with Un-" trilogy due out in 2009. I'm not sure what the third one will be, perhaps a slasher flick where hordes of unemployed, zombified Americans must quench their insatiable hunger for affordable health premiums and Republican brains? Due out in October 2009, "The Uninsured"!

Anyway, back to the movie...The theatrical trailer for The Uninvited is much, much better than all the 30 second TV spots i've been seeing. It hints at many more interesting angles than just the straight "creepy new mom is going to kill us" story suggested by the commercials. Elizabeth Banks certainly looks creepy enough in her role and its nice to see her outside of the Judd Apatow-crowd. I am also a big fan of David Strathairn and think he a very underappreciated actor that always brings quality to a film.

Other than that it looks like there are some creepy visuals going on, the two girls aren't too irritating and there are hints of a good twist. I'm going to put it solidly in the middle.

The Uninvited is releasing tonight Jan 30th.

Taken: Wherein we see...

2009-01-26T16:07:00.005-05:00

Taken: Trailer 1 @ Fox Movies

....the debut of scary, sadistic Liam Neeson (often known as the "Irish Jason Bourne" or the "Emerald Eviscerator") as an ex-spy whose daughter is kidnapped by slave traders in this action-thriller flick. So freed from the restraints of common social norms like not breaking people's kneecaps and electrocuting them Neeson no doubt goes about racking up a body count in the search for his daughter. Oskar Schindler this ain't.

Apparently heavyweight Luc Besson did the script which could be a big plus since he has a knack for finding the humanity in brutal situations and within his, almost always, sociopathic protagonists (Leon is one of my all time favorite movies btw). Unfortunately no genius moments are shining through in the trailer, and that does not bode well that Taken is not another cookie cutter, justified-killfest (See: Man on Fire).

As for the trailer itself; Liam Neeson sounds like he is awkwardly suppressing his accent which gets me off balance some, but that does not need to be a fatal blow of Jenga proportions, i'll let it slide. The daughter sounds VERY annoying, but she looks set to have a role reduced to crying and being generally afraid for her life, so safe on that count as well. Action is pretty good, the ol' Emerald Eviscerator looks like he has some moves left. Really my only concern is that Neeson is not going to be able to take on a Besson style character; not out of lack of talent but simply because of the normal range he is expected to exist in by audiences. And if his performance doesn't work the movie will probably get panned critically.

Also Luc Besson could have just simply crapped it up on the script. That's a possibility too. I'm going to give it the benefit of the doubt though and go higher than my instinct. Dude, watch out for his set of skillz.

Taken opens Jan 30th.

New in Town: Nothing Actually New

2009-01-24T14:16:00.005-05:00

Renee Zellweger continues her bid to be America's new darling girl with the rom-com New In Town. Zells looks like a high-powered L.A. woman type who gets sent out to down home Minnesota for a down home dressing down. Her high falutin' coast mentality gets a solid, frosty kick in the pants and she comes down a peg or two.

It looks quite predictable and, as a result, quite boring. There's a hint of chemistry between Zells and co-star Harry Connick Jr. so that maybe a saving grace. Otherwise I wouldn't bet too heavily on it critic-wise.

New in Town is due out January 30th.

Underworld-Rise of the Lycans: EPIC WTF

2009-01-24T14:03:00.004-05:00

This trailer will be the debut of my incomplete sentence review style.

What? Another one?!? Why! WHY? %@^&*^! Looks like crap. Beckinsale not involved. Not stupid enough to be involved. Cheers to her. WTF British werewolves? Lots of vampire cleavage. Rock music reverberates in the skull. Ooh fire. Matrix moves, that's not 1999 or anything. Werewolves look kind of Thriller-ish.

Yes, crap. Surely. British accents only saving grace. Done.

Crap due out Jan 23rd.

Results - Batch 5 - Week of 1/16/09

2009-01-21T11:28:00.005-05:00

Faithful reader, this week was a complete FAIL in terms of previctions. Zero for four, that's almost as bad as the Detroit Lions (ooh burn.) although some were close. Let's do the rundown:

1. My Blood Valentine 3D (MBV3D) - My guess 0-19%, actually retail price 57%. I was completely dumbfounded by this result, it actually was pushing 60% on RottenTomatoes! From reading the full reviews it looks like this equation holds true: Crap + ExtraDimension = EnjoyableFun. Since this relationship is firmly established now perhaps some of the other directors should consider investing in 3D technology to add appeal to their movies. M.Knight Shyamalan's Happening Lady in the Village 3D coming soon!

2. Notorious - My guess 60-79%, actually retail price....57%! I was sooooo very close with this one that I have to say it's my big disappointment for the week since I thought it would surprise the naysayers. Everyone loved Woolard's performance, but the main gripe seems to be some sentiment that it's too commercial.

3. Paul Blart: Mall Cop - My guess 40-59%, comes out at 35%. Less of a surprise. I just need to be more pessimistic when it comes to predicting Happy Madison productions...

4. Hotel for Dogs - My guess 60-79%, actual result 47%. I'm having a difficult time reading children's movies reviews, when I make these previctions for them I try and do it from the perspective of someone going in expecting to see a kids movie. You would think that would be a common sense enough attitude for a critic. I mean you're not going to be holding up Hotel for Dogs and Citizen Kane side by side and going "hmmmm...I liked the sled in this one, but I also liked the dogs in this one".

Half the reviews, however, seem to be written by those who go in expecting Oscar worthy material and being disappointed when it's absent. Basically i'm saying in the future i'm going to give a large discount to children's movies which don't appeal to every fricking critic out there.

Full results below:

A Mighty Heart

2009-01-15T13:57:00.003-05:00

A Mighty Heart: Trailer @ Apple Trailers

I know this one isn't an upcoming movie but I ran across the trailer recently and wanted to review it for you anyway even though it came out in 2007.

In 2002 Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped, imprisoned, and brutally murdered by Islamic fundamentalists. The footage of Pearl's tragic death was broadcast internationally and shocked the civilized world. The even set off an string of similar assassinations in Iraq and would come to mark the brutality of the changes going on in the region.

The movie itself has a headliner in Angelina Jolie and the excellent Irrfan Khan (recently in Slumdog Millionaire, but actually able to use his acting skills in "The Namesake"). The cinematography looks solid if a bit boring at parts, but that's not really the focus since the story is bound to be an intense one. Overall it looks good, i'm going to Netflix it.

Killshot: Next on the 11 o'clock movie

2009-01-15T10:17:00.006-05:00

Killshot: Trailer 1 @ Aintitcool.com

A movie not on Apple Trailers! Yes, incredibly there is something not going through Apple's tentacles. But in the case of Killshot, maybe there's a reason. Something does not look right about the movie. Rourke looks chilling as the hitman, Gordon-Levitt looks ok as the hitman-in-training, and Diane Lane is...well Diane Lane. The story sounds like it has the potential for good suspense and it has a decent crop of actors to pull it off. So what's wrong???

Something about the way it's shot has all the feel of a A&E crime reenactment movie. I can't really think of a better way to put it right now. Watch the trailer and you'll see what i'm talking about. Am I wrong?

...Even the poster looks weird. Well at least it's not this one.

Killshot is supposedly due out January 23rd.

Inkheart: There Be Danger On Those Pages

2009-01-15T09:54:00.005-05:00

Inkheart: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Inkheart: Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

Brendan Fraser somehow seems to have positioned himself as the family action movie star of our time. How he managed to wrangle that given his acting acumen and all around doofiness amazes me. Maybe it's just his natural Canadian charm, I mean when did you ever not like a Canadian?

Inkheart (iHeart) strikes me as the BBC version of Bedtime Stories(BS). BS is not the American version of iHeart just by virtue of it getting an earlier release date, it's just that easy. The parallels are uncanny, read along with me now. iHeart: Stories come to life after reading, BS: Stories come to life after narrating. iHeart: Fuzzy little ferret/marmot creature for the kids, BS: Googly eyed hamster for the kids. iHeart: Brendan Fraser (Canadian (British)) BS: Adam Sandler.

The movie looks solid enough for a kid/family flick with a solidly British cast on the acting end and actually decent looking material on the visual side too. It gets a solid score in the middle of the range.

Inkheart is in theaters January 23rd.

Results Batch 4! - Week of 1/5/09

2009-01-12T11:12:00.004-05:00

A good week of previctions. 2 out of 3 guessed correctly. I missed Bride Wars but scored on Not Easily Broken and The Unborn. Apparently Kate Hudson's full scare-itude was not even fully conveyed by the trailer. More previctions coming at you soon, results below:

Hotel for Dogs:

2009-01-09T15:58:00.003-05:00

Hotel for Dogs: Trailer1 @ Apple Trailers

Hotel for Dogs: Trailer2 @ Apple Trailers

Standard Disney-esque animal movie fare. Kids get a dog, find other dogs, build a hotel for them, someone wants to take the hotel away, all inventions used in hotel turn into things to repel the invaders, all are happy. Nothing looks glaringly wrong with it and it has dogs in it. Heck I am even a bit curious to know how the robbers/evil bankers/landlords are going to get beaten up.

I can't even imagine what the set must be like on the shoot for one of these things. Did I mention it has dogs in it? What a curve ball it would be if the movie was actually about some kind of timeshare condo for cats. Hotel for Dogs will handily win the Oscar for Best Use of 40 or More Dogs.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop: HappyMadison Strikes Again

2009-01-09T15:33:00.004-05:00

Paul Blart: Mall Cop: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Remember Die Hard? I do too. Remember how awesome it was with Bruce Willis running around inside Nakatomi Towers blasting the crap out of evil German terrorists? Remember the evil blonde guy who wouldn't die? Blondie? And Alan Rickman? Yeah. Sweeeeet. And the quarterback is toast!!!!

Ok, so imagine Die Hard without guns, without cursing (most likely), without killing, and with Kevin James. That would be the premise of Paul Blart: Mall Cop (PB:MC) Ok Kevin James is a funny guy, his stand-up is great and even King of Queens is not bad. I don't think he can save this tongue-in-cheek style comedy on his own though. He's going to need some serious backup...and Reginald VelJohnson definitely ain't coming this time. It's doubtful that PB:MC is going to win any major critical accolades but it looks like clean humor centered around a sympathetic character which could win it some points.

I think i'm going to go watch Die Hard.

Notorious: Large and In Charge

2009-01-07T10:22:00.005-05:00

Notorious: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Notorious: Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

Da-yam, what to say. First off i'm surprised it took this long for a Biggie Smalls movie to get made (ditto on the surprise for a Tupac movie as well, anyone know if one is in development?). The larger-than-life (har har) rap icon was practically made for the big screen and his tragic death only adds to that.

The movie is set squarely in biopic land, with some good looking close up shots and decent acting. Whoever plays Notorious has the look and the voice down so no (big, har har) worries there. The story looks pretty predictable structure wise, so unless the director surprises us with a more intricate plot sequence it will depend heavily (har har) on the performance of [insert actor name here]. I give it a 50/50 that he is able to pull it off. It fizzle out very quickly.

But frankly the movie has some of the best rap music of the 90s as the soundtrack and watching the trailer set to it is kind of spine tingling. It's hard to discount that feeling. Notorious gets a positive despite having a high potential to be critic chow.

My Bloody Valentine 3D: Point away from face

2009-01-05T17:06:00.007-05:00

My Bloody Valentine 3D: Trailer1 @ Apple Trailers

Ok so the tagline of My Blood Valentine 3D, hereafter, MBV3D, is "Nothing says date movie, like a 3D ride to hell." Do you think they mean, like, first date-wanna-makeout? Or more like fifth date-this is going nowhere-let's stop? I really can't tell from the trailer. Oh well I guess we'll just have to go with the sure bet and watch Punisher: War Zone.

Apparently there's a very pissed off miner running around pick-axing people to death in the local small town that happens to be populated by lots of scantily clad women running around and all on Valentine's Day too! Might the killer be one of the old miners exacting revenge on the townspeople for a horrific accident of yore? The hell you say! But wait it's in 3D! Sadly, while it may enhance the effect of blood flying at the screen or the odd shot of cleavage, the addition of a dimension does not look set to improve the acting or production quality of MBV3D.

I think it's safe to say that removing your 3D glasses during a showing of MBV3D may cause brain damage as the 3D effects of the movie will no longer be able to shield you from its true stupidity.

Results Batch 3!

2009-01-05T16:33:00.005-05:00

The Holiday movies bombed (critically) worse than I could imagine. It seems I just need to be more pessimistic when I see an idea like putting Adam Sandler in a movie with a googly-eyed hamster. Lesson learned, here are the results for the Christmas season, unfortunately I didn't get to review as many as I would have liked to because of all holiday hubbub:

I missed on the upside with "Bedtime Stories", critics didn't find anything redeeming about it apparently. It was the opposite story with "Marley & Me" with the movie goers enamored of such a cute fuzzy puppy. "The Spirit" was on the nose and Valkyrie missed by only the slightest of margins. Overall not too bad.

More previctions coming at you soon.

The Unborn: Children are creepy. We get it.

2009-01-04T22:55:00.006-05:00

The Unborn: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Ah my first horror previction. Nothing like a bunch of blood, guts, and paranormal activity to pack the masses into the old cineplex. It always amazes me that people will go and see practically any horror movie regardless of the plot, actors, or budget. Recently though (specifically after big studios realized the goldmine created by the horror-movie-lemming-mentality) we have seen big name directors, writers, and producers attach themselves to a raft of horror flicks. The Unborn follows in that grand tradition.

Unborn looks like a pretty standard evil twin coming back to haunt the world story with few surprises. A couple of moments have some tension but overall it looks quite predictable, which is a very bad thing for a horror movie. Scary ghost children and exorcisms are so twentieth century. Predictable means bored critics, critics with time to write more words about how they hate the movie. Production is pretty slick with a dark, unwashed look, but I don't think that's what people will pick at.

Nice looking but with the potential to be boring, predictable and only mildly scary.

Not Easily Broken: Not Easily Viewed

2009-01-04T15:39:00.004-05:00

Not Easily Broken: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Morris Chestnut!!! Well the trailer looks odd (visually), there is some weird editing that doesn't fit with some of the more serious subject matter peeking through. There are also some weird lines that again suggest more of a comedy than a serious 'By the Bootstraps to the Upper East Side' flick. I'm just confused. Hopefully the success of the movie does not hinge on Morris Chestnut's acting ability. Oh noes it does! Run away!

Not Easily Broken is due out in theaters January 9th.

Bride Wars: Many Fewer Wars than Advertised

2009-01-04T14:48:00.005-05:00

Bride Wars: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Apologies for the lack of posts, but I was busy with important things like stuffing myself with Christmas cookies, alcohol, and just generally being unhealthy. But i'm back now and ready to previct some more movies!

First one of the New Year: Bride Wars. Sadly this trailer did not turn out as I hoped, since what I hoped for was a Star Wars populated by scantily dressed lesbian brides (or vampires...Lesbian Vampire Killers review is yet to come). Instead we have some romantic comedy style cinematography which, curiously enough, then seems to throw out the romantic part and focus on the rivalry the comes about when two best friends clash over a wedding venue.

It certainly doesn't look like a bad movie (from a non-guy) perspective, but I think conceding the romantic fight to focus on the comedic slapstick between the two girls is probably a bad move. Neither the scary looking Hudson nor the fresh faced Hathaway really looks to have the charisma or wit to sustain anything substantial in the interaction. Boring, but not bad, 40%-59%.

Starring a frighteningly made up Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway, Bride Wars is due out January 9th.

Valkyrie: So This Thing Called WWII Happened....

2008-12-26T10:21:00.004-05:00

Valkyrie: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

...And it provided material for hundreds upon hundreds of movies for years to come! I shudder to think what will happen to the movie industry when the luster of WWII fades from our minds.

Finally the much discussed, controversial, make-or-break picture from United Artists is due to come out. There has been so much talk about this movie over the past year, from the initial reaction to pictures released of the eyepatched' Cruise to news of release date delays its hard to look at it objectively. But that's not what we do here anyway.

Despite his offscreen antics I think that Tom Cruise remains a very good actor. He always brings an intensity to his performances that can't be replaced. Sure he's had some duds but none of them were horrible. Anyway Valkyrie looks like a solid enough thriller, the plot sounds exciting (if predictable), and the acting doesn't look bad. Straight 60%-79%.

The Spirit: At Least It Has Samuel L

2008-12-23T20:25:00.006-05:00

The Spirit: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

The Spirit: Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

The Spirit: Trailer 3 @ Apple Trailers

Frank Miller has had a hand in some of the most influential comics of the past twenty years and it's been great to see a lot of his work realized on the big screen. 300 and Sin City will never be hailed as Oscar material but they at least managed not score in the 'Don't Insult the Viewer' award categories. 'The Spirit' does not look like it's going to be a strong contender in that field...

After seeing the first trailer I was excited since I am a fan of the extreme black and white technique used in Sin City and think it is a very unique visual style. As more trailers came out I started to lose hope that the movie was going to make it through without blowing up in comic book movie ridiculousness. Trailer 2 contains some horrendous acting, some atrocious lines (see: comic book dialogue not meant to be spoken), and far too many closeups. I'm not familiar with the comic, but it looks like the Spirit has some kind of harem of women who he alternately fights and plays with and they are all probably controlled by some guy called the Octopus.

Yeah, Samuel L. Frankly the best part of this movie is probably going to be Samuel L. Jackson. Actually i'm going to predict that will be the only part of this movie which will be worth the $11 ticket.

The Spirit is due out December 24.

Results, Batch 2!

2008-12-22T09:53:00.010-05:00

Movies From Week of Dec. 15th:
Apparently I should have gone with my instinct and hated Seven Pounds. It certainly looks like the movie wasn't able to pull of its personal redemption gimmick. Yes Man and The Class were spot on, with the former being crappy and the latter being excellent.

I was surprised by The Brothers Bloom in two respects, one that Metacritic did not have a rating for it and, two, that people actually seemed to like it. Just full of surprises.

Marley & Me: Awww Puppies!

2008-12-22T09:47:00.002-05:00

Marley & Me: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Owen Wilson. Jennifer Aniston. Puppy. Romcom. Most likely the best performance will be the dog. Enough said.

Marley and Me is due out on December 25th.

Bedtime Stories: Sometimes Even Gumball Rain Doesn't Fix a Movie

2008-12-22T09:37:00.004-05:00

Bedtime Stories: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Adam Sandler (see also: Jim Carrey polarization factor). Courtney Cox. Disney kids movie. Enough said.

The Class: L'intelligence Dangereux

2008-12-18T15:13:00.006-05:00

The Class: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Quick one today, simply because I know none of the history about the actors or story. The Class is the story of a young French teacher (a teacher in France, not a French language teacher), Mr. Marin, who is handed a classroom full of today's disaffected, sarcastic youngsters. The plot looks to progress predictably enough along the 'Dangerous Minds' route, albeit with less violence.

The movie stands out in its documentary style cinematography and some very genuine performances all around. The kids sound like they do a great job sounding like, well real teenagers, which is harder than most people think. Looks solid.

The Brothers Bloom: Channeling Wes Anderson

2008-12-17T10:32:00.005-05:00

The Brothers Bloom: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

What an odd movie. The trailer brings to mind some kind of unholy union of Snatch and Ocean's Eleven populated with Wes Anderson personalities. If you, as some kind of writer-director-producer-God were able to pull that combination off i'm sure you would have an excellent movie. Sadly it doesn't look like a good bet that The Brothers Bloom is going to conjure any of that magic.

Adrien Brody and Mark Ruffalo, the Bloom brothers, are far too uncharismatic to pull off the slick, caper heist rakes being sold by the trailer. The Rachel Weisz character looks slap-dash rather than interesting, and Rinko Kikuchi, unfortunately, looks to be used for nothing else except to dress up the movie with more of the pseudo-Wes Anderson eccentricity they are going for.

It does not look like the actors have the range (or perhaps were not given the leeway) to support the quirkiness the movie is going for. The Brothers Bloom is due out on December 19th.

Watchmen: Prologue

2008-12-16T14:44:00.004-05:00

Some Watchmen trailers for you today in case you haven't seen them. I saw the first one in the theater and was quite impressed, particularly with the way the visuals looked. Unfortunately the second one, located at the official movie website, was much less impressive particularly during parts which required acting. :\

I'm withholding judgment until we see more material though, just because its such a highly anticipated flick and is still relatively far away.

First Batch of Results! I can has previctions now?

2008-12-15T12:54:00.015-05:00

Results for you today now that I actually have a bunch of predictions to go back and check! I took the scores for the movies from today's totals.

In the future i'll try and do this weekly so that any movies released the previous week/weekend will have score comparisons consistently after their release week. Here we go, presented to you in full color Excel:

Overall, not a terrible set of results. I'm giving myself a 5 point +/- margin of error; that only leaves me with a 1 out of 7 result so far. That 10 point band may be a little ambitious since I doubt that i'm ever going to be that accurate. On a Good/Bad scale (good = 50-100 bad = 0-49) i'm 6 out of 7 though! Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics.

So for the sake of keeping it interesting i'll do a "Out of 5" scale from now on. 0-19, 20-39, 40-59, 60-79, 80-100.

'Punisher: WZ' was almost dead on for the RottenTomatoes-MetaCritic Average. I was surprised by my misreading of 'The Reader' as well as for 'The Day the Earth Stood Still'. Note to self: next time take off more points for Keanu Reeves factor. I was very surprised by the Delgo score, apparently it was even worse than I thought. Gran Torino was another interesting turn around with a lot of people loving Eastwood's geriatric, curmudgeoney-ness. Well that just teaches me never to bet against Dirty Harry because remember, it's never, ever your lucky day. Punk.

Dragonball Evolution: Chatwin's Hair FTW

2008-12-14T10:44:00.009-05:00

Dragonball Evolution: Trailer 1 @ Official Site

D ragonball Evolution: Trailer @ FirstShowing.net

Dragonball Evolution is the long awaited adaptation of the Japanese comic/cartoon/video game/everything series that revolves around the quest of super humans to find and gain control over a bunch of mystical, orange dragon...balls. Dirty thoughts aside, the original series has a large fanbase in both Japan and America which makes it surprising that it took so long to finally bring the adaptation to the big screen.

Watching the trailer, however, makes you believe that perhaps the Dragonball franchise was better off staying in its original territory. The 'Evolution' title is appropriate though as the movie looks like some kind of super hybrid of a WB show and the Sci-Fi channel movie of the week. Surely having the advantageous genes of both the WB (pretty young people) and Sci-Fi (explosions and aliens) will make the offspring better at finding food, seeking mates, and attracting a wider mass audience.

Sadly natural selection doesn't really function in Hollywood and this movie will probably find its way to maturity and spawning other offspring. The CG work is horribly blended with a blaring (not in an acidy trip Speed Racer kind of way, but in a Joel Schumacher kind of way) color palette to boot. Lighting and costume design looks to be a solid step above Mighty Morphin Power Rangers level so you should brace yourself for some rubbery looking villains and good guys. Let's not go into the little 'acting' that was left in there, i've hurt you enough already. Frankly I just feel sorry for Chow Yun Fat having to be involved with this, if only he had told someone he was so desperate for work we could have done something. Anything. Now it's too late.

Critics who actually have to watch and review this will want to put on a look something like Justin Chatwin as Goku. And that would be like you're in the process of passing a kidney stone the size of a golf ball. This trailer actually made my brain hurt.

Yes Man: No Thank You

2008-12-14T10:23:00.006-05:00

Yes Man: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Yes Man: Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

Jim Carrey is an actor who elicits extreme opinions, either you adore his antics or he is an oilstain on the parking lot of life. I happen to be one of the former, I justify watching Ace Ventura with the fact that Carrey is a good actor when he wants to be (Truman Show, Eternal Sunshine, etc...). There's nothing wrong with that right? Good with the bad and all that.

Which brings me to the latest movie trailer: "Yes Man'. The epiphany/life changing moment plot doesn't look to be blazing any new ground with some standard romantic interest thrown into the mix. Like many of his earlier movies its up to Jim to carry this by-the-book plot to the finish with his facial and body gyrations which, as mentioned earlier, may not be an entirely bad thing depending on the viewer. Unfortunately I feel many critics are not Carrey-lite fans and will probably (rightly) find nothing interesting in this flick otherwise.

So sadly I must say 'No' to 'Yes Man'.

Seven Pounds: Will Smith, Ninja Santa Claus

2008-12-12T15:46:00.008-05:00

Seven Pounds: This is Not Easy Trailer @ Apple Trailers
Seven Pounds: He Eats Tofu Trailer @ Apple Trailers
Seven Pounds: I Need A Favor Trailer @ Apple Trailers
Seven Pounds: Trailer 3 @ Apple Trailers

Will Smith is Ben Thomas, a benevolent IRS agent seeking redemption for a mysterious event in his past by helping deserving people. The trailer is plain enough with some interesting visuals, but most of its allure comes from teasing you to guess exactly why Thomas is going around handing away his world possessions. He's kind of like a Ninja Santa Claus that goes around checking up on whether you need help and then swoops down in disguise and peppers you with goodwill and happiness.

The flick seems a bit gimmicky, and the producers definitely know that the mystery aspect will be what draws the majority of people in to the theater; but it doesn't look all bad in terms of acting. Will Smith is always entertaining and has a proven capacity for serious roles on top of his blockbuster ones. In addition to the theatrical trailer there are several clips where we see Mr. Thomas talking one on one with the different characters he is trying to help. The clips exhibit a patient pace and are generally positive, in particular the dialogue with the (forgotten name) 'Sniper Guy in Saving Private Ryan' is well acted. The sequences between Thomas and what looks to be his love interest are the only instances where it looks a little dry.

Long story short, people will see it but i'm unsure whether it's going to play big with the critics if it can't pull off the gimmicky part of it. I would like to see Will Smith in a ninja movie though.

Gran Torino: Clint East wood kicks everyone's ass.

2008-12-11T10:58:00.008-05:00

Gran Torino: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

I am a huge Clint Eastwood fan, I think that his is a talent that only comes along once in a blue moon. He has proven himself as an actor countless times and his record as a director is nothing to balk at either. There is no mistaking who that rasping growl belongs to when it comes over the theater speakers, especially after it threatens to kick someone's ass. Clint Eastwood does not sleep. He waits.

So it is with much disappointment that I have to say that Gran Torino seems pretty formulaic and even kind of boring. Eastwood is a stubborn, retired man who appears to be tired of living and cares about little anymore. Asian gangs have recently moved into his neighborhood bringing them into direct conflict with Clint Eastwood's fists and his WWII rifle. Clint Eastwood doesn't go hunting...Clint Eastwood goes KILLING. Inevitably, he begins to care (even to *gasp* love) about his neighbors and decides to take matters into his own hands, regardless of what will happen.

More than anything else it looks like a vehicle for Clint Eastwood to kick some disrespectful young people ass. While that may not be a bad thing, it does not alone a good movie make. Cinematography looks solid enough, I always liked Eastwood's eye for lighting and composing a shot so no complaints there. The acting other than Eastwood's looks a little amateurish unfortunately. Can't be too positive on this one.

Doubt:: Holy Vatican II Batman!

2008-12-10T20:15:00.009-05:00

Doubt: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

A short one today.

You could cut the tension in this trailer with a very large butter knife. Philip Seymour Hoffman as a progressive Catholic priest versus Meryl Streep the hardline conservative Sister. Round 1, ding ding! The acting looks superb as two monumental performers go toe to toe in a battle over the future of a Catholic school, and the direction of the Church itself. The movie probably wouldn't seem half as interesting if it didn't involve so much of the real world debate about the Catholic Church, but that's the point I suppose.

Good acting, high tension plot, the Catholic Church, ladies in full length black frocks. What more can you ask for in a drama?

Nothing Like the Holidays: Familiar territory but a chance for a surprise?

2008-12-10T11:42:00.007-05:00

Nothing Like the Holidays: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

I never would have thought that the names Debra Messing and John Leguizamo would be in the same movie tagline, but life is about surprises and change. At least that's the message that I got from the trailer of Nothing Like the Holidays. Leguizamo and Messing are a newly engaged couple and visiting his family for the holidays. The rub is that Messing's character is clearly WASP-y and Leguizamo's family is quite Hispanic. It starts out tamely enough on familiar romantic comedy territory and had me thinking it was careening in the direction of a "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner-Lite" remake. I was also expecting copious amounts of "Meet the Parents" style awkwardness and antics, but was pleasantly surprised when it looked like family drama was the focus. The dialogue sounds relatively natural and the characters are a comfortable distance away from the carictures that emerge far too often in rom-com's (I love this mashup) these days, especially ones involving ethnic families.

It doesn't hurt that the cast is quite good, with the often undersold John Leguizamo, Alfred Molina, and Freddy Rodriguez in what looks to be an actually interesting holiday script. I was surprised by the trailer and think that critics will be surprised as well. Of course it could just be well cut holiday schlock, but i'll give it the benefit of the doubt.

Delgo: Lizards, Fairies, and Plotpoints. Oh My!

2008-12-09T11:33:00.013-05:00

Delgo: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

OMNIMEDIA: that was the first word that came to mind after watching the preview for Delgo. But not in a good 'All Things Considered' kind of way, but a 'Jack-of-all-Trades' kind of way. There are so many plots and different genres packed into the trailer that its hard to find one point to jump off from. The story looks to be a tale of two young...things (I don't know what the creatures are called)...from different species who fall in love and have to overcome their differences to be with each other. On top of that their respective countries/species/hives/etc are about to go to war with each other. On top of THAT it looks like there are internal political squabbles going on in one of the kingdoms between a queen and the good guys of the species. Needless to say it doesn't seem to be lacking in plot layers.

I have to balk at this kind of layering in a Family movie though, I feel the attempt to throw something in the mix for everyone usually ends up mucking up what could be a wonderful story on its own. To pull it off you have to be no less than Pixar-esque in your execution, which many studios are not. From the trailer this looks more like a study in 90s era Disney than anything else.

On the animation front the characters have a plastic feel which doesn't help the case for the seriousness (it really sounds like the evil character is trying to set up a mini-ethnic cleansing...) the movie is trying to convey. Backdrops and character are done in impressive, detail but the stiff movement betrays all that work and throws it squarely back into the cartoon neighborhood. Bottom line, I don't think the movie knows what it is. It's got quite a cast of B+ level voice talent that is sure to attract viewers but I really feel it's trying too hard to be all things, a kids movie, a fantasy tale, and a light hearted animated feature.

The Day the Earth Stood Still: Is.....

2008-12-08T16:40:00.005-05:00

The Day the Earth Stood Still: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

...the day that Keanu Reeves doesn't look spaced out in a movie. From what I gather Keanu plays some kind of alien or cyborg or something, which is probably perfect given his normal wooden delivery and demeanor. I'm sure he's a nice guy, but his acting ability isn't exactly as wide as the deep blue sea. Roles where the character is clueless (Matrix) serve him well, but I don't think he has the ability to carry a full antagonistic role as he appears to here.

The CG in the trailer looks impressive for the most part with a giant, glowing sphere emerging and hovering ominously and some kind of noxious cloud of evil dismembering buildings and cars. Horribly incorporated CG is a pet peeve of mine and there is a moment in the trailer where the monster rears its head, but overall it looks like pretty safe stuff production wise. A few shots seem kind of hokey with people standing around in too-perfect positions and far too clinical lighting, but its doubtful that's going to make a big difference either.

The Day the Earth Stood Still is a remake of the 1951 sci-fi classic of the same name. This doesn't look set to surprise anyone for its amazing writing or direction but it doesn't look like a bomb either. I'm going to play it safe and sit in the middle here. 50%

The Day the Earth Stood Still is due out on December 12th.

TrailerHound Previction: 50%

The Reader: Fiennes and Dandy

2008-12-08T16:02:00.006-05:00

The Reader: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

Another trailer/movie today adapted from another best-selling novel (as is the trend for risk averse producers these days; more on that another time), this time about Post-World War II Germany. The excellent, and still mind bogglingly un-Oscar'd, Ralph Fiennes co-stars with Kate Winslet.

The story looks like it proceeds in a retrospective style with the main character, Fiennes, recounting his struggle as an adolescent to reconcile his love for a woman with the horrible things she did. I'm generally biased to this format when it comes to telling stories that the audience is already familiar with as it just makes for a more interesting narrative. The acting from both Fiennes and Winslet looks superb; a slipup in that department would really surprise me. The muted, washed out colors of the cinematography fit with the theme and some of the stills from the trailer alone look wonderful. The only thing that I could possibly see killing it off is the theme of moral ambivalence that is near the end of the trailer. Not that i'm against complex movies, they're just more difficult to pull off.

I don't think anyone is holding their breath for this to break any box office records, but I expect it to get good critical acclaim.

TrailerHound Previction: 80%

Punisher: War Zone; More Like Poor Zone.

2008-12-08T08:38:00.005-05:00

Punisher Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers
Punisher Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

Ok, I realize that Punisher:War Zone (hereafter referred to as P:WZ) has already been released, but after seeing the trailers I have to put in my two cents. Plus I promise that I have not yet seen the ratings it's received so my prediction should still be objective.

The modern comic book movie was born during my childhood (Batman 1989) and it holds a special place in my heart, the place filled with scary Michael Keatons' and wacky Jack Nicholsons' dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight....Because of this special childhood bond I am compelled to love the comic book movie genre as there are countless great stories and characters just waiting to find a wider audience. Just look at what Dark Knight did this summer and the potential for great film is clear. However comic book movies also have the same potential (at this point we can say it's a tendency) to deliver poorly written, produced, and directed crap because all those involved know they will make a pile of money anyway. It looks as if P:WZ is going to fit squarely into the latter category.

Frank Castle, aka Punisher, is on a mission. A mission to deliver lines and deliver them with all the conviction of someone trying to open a pickle jar with two Christmas hams duct-taped to his hands. Many writers and producers don't seem to realize that most comic book dialogue is just not meant to be be spoken exactly the way it's written in the comics. (Or maybe they realize that ripping the script straight from comic book writing is a lot cheaper than having someone write a full original script.) There is very little chance that the line, "Sometimes i'd like to get my hands on God." is going to come out of the actor in a non-absurd sounding way.

Bad dialogue aside, the trailers are a visual trainwreck and a half. Between the neon disco lighting, cartoonish set design, and the villain's patchwork makeup it looks like a perfect storm of horrid filming sure to cause many "My God, I actually spent money to watch this. Look my wallet, it's empty and this movie was the thing that took it from me." Oh, and there is a villain that sounds and acts like a messed up Al Pacino a la Scarface.

Sometimes i'd like to get my hands on the time I spent watching this trailer.

TrailerHound Previction: 20%

The Wrestler: Rourketastic

2008-12-07T16:30:00.007-05:00

Sometimes a role undeniably belongs to one actor. Whether because of appearance, personality, or history there are great parts which could never be inhabited by any other person. Mickey Rourke looks set to inhabit one of those timeless characters as he fills the lace-up boots of small time wrestler Randy "The Ram" Robinson with the passion only someone who has been through the ups and downs of a tumultuous career could muster.

We also see another career-rollercoaster-rider, Marisa Tomei, playing an aging stripper who becomes involved with Rourke. Two actors asking for second chances and it looks like we should give it to them.

I watched the trailer off Apple Trailers for The Wrestler. The movie is due out for limited release on Dec. 17th.

TrailerHound Previction: 90%

The Tale of Despereaux:: Little Guy, Big Heart

2008-12-07T15:49:00.013-05:00

I watched the teaser and the theatrical trailer of The Tale of Despereaux off the Apple Trailers site. The first thing that struck me was the amazing detail of the character and background animation shown throughout the production. I don't know which 3d studio handled this but the look hews much closer to the crisp, subtle detail of recent Pixar productions rather than the simple cartoony-ness of many other digital 'imitators'.

The story sounds quite well put together with a Small Guy-Big Heart theme wrapped in the middle of a Medieval Kingdom in Crisis (replete with damsel in distress) storyline. That is probably to be expected since the source material is apparently a well loved children's novel, but hey we all know adaptations that have gone horribly, horribly wrong so let's not take anything for granted.

So it looks like Universal has a winner here with the on spot animation and the heartwarming (if conventional) storyline just in time for the Christmas season. The TrailerHound previction? 85%.

Universal Studios' The Tale of Despereaux is due out in theaters December 19th.

TrailerHound Previction: 85%

Welcome to Trailer Hound!

2008-12-07T14:53:00.000-05:00

Welcome to Trailer Hound. This blog is dedicated to viewing trailers of upcoming movies and making predictions on whether those movies turn out to be good or not based only on the previews! Whether it's lots of dialogue scenes or many many many BIG explosions, I have found that what directors and producers decide to highlight (or exclude all together) from trailers tells a lot about the movie itself and can shed light on whether it's heading to the Academy or to the grocery store bargain bin.

After viewing a movie's released trailers I will make a prediction on the average ratings the movie will receive after its first week of release on RottenTomatoes and Metacritic. I will also keep track of my prediction record to see how my TrailerPredictionPowers (Pat.Pending) fare versus the general consensus.

Off we go!