Watchmen: By the Book, Perhaps Too Much...

Ok, here's the big one, the whole enchilada, the full monty, and other such things...I'm going devote a decent amount of time here to previewing the Watchmen movie, afterall it is my namesake.

Watchmen was originally a comic series created in 1985 which depicted the lives of retired superheroes against the backdrop of a world edging closer to nuclear annihilation. Writer Alan Moore gave us not only fallible, but thoroughly human protagonists, lacking true special powers save for the nuclear-age spawn Dr. Manhattan. Moore created a story so skillfully interwoven with the sociopolitical history of America and with such compelling characters that it rightfully elevated the comic book medium to a new level of legitimacy.

And ultimately Zack Snyder's film adaptation of Watchmen will hinge on the believability of the characters and nothing else. Critics are unlikely to give the movie a 'bye' if it only succeeds in capturing the visuals and given the quality of the source material that is more than fair. There's nothing wrong when you're thrown a script and the rights to a couple of back issues of The Punisher but when you're dealing with Watchmen you better at least try and get it right.

Visually, Snyder's Watchmen is a beautiful rendering of the comic, in the trailer alone you can pick out three scenes constructed shot for shot from the comic. The heroes also look quite good in their costumes, Rorschach in particular is a highlight with great attention paid to his inkblot mask. The effect comes off perfectly and I look forward to seeing what expressions Rorschach is given for different situations. I watched the behind the scenes exclusives on YouTube which show the impressive detail that went into the set and character designs, needless to say they spent a lot of time on it.

But, as with all comic book movies, the acting is the area that merits the most attention and concern. Much of the trailer dialogue comes right out of the comic book and mostly lacks the emotion to give it weight beyond plot exposition. Again Rorschach is a bright spot in the acting , but at times it feels like without his rasping drawl he would be as flat as the next hero. Dr. Manhattan is the shakiest in the trailer, with a voice that comes off as whiny and pinched, but that's just my personal preference for a guy who can mess with physics to have a voice that matches his power...

A big part of the acting issue is also that they're reading lines straight from the comic book. I maintain that the vast majority of comic book writing is not meant to be read aloud. That is why I am a huge fan of directors following their own interpretation of source material rather than just using the novel as a visual screenplay.

Overall the movie feels like too much of a direct translation of the comic book and that will most likely dampen the creativity needed to properly bring Watchmen to the screen. It will get serious points from fanboys for being true to the look but probably lose for being so dry in the acting area. Expectations are high and the movie can certainly expect to get hit critically if it does not live up to them...this isn't a Street Fighter movie after all....60%-79%

The Spirit: At Least It Has Samuel L

The Spirit: Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers

The Spirit: Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

The Spirit: Trailer 3 @ Apple Trailers

Frank Miller has had a hand in some of the most influential comics of the past twenty years and it's been great to see a lot of his work realized on the big screen. 300 and Sin City will never be hailed as Oscar material but they at least managed not score in the 'Don't Insult the Viewer' award categories. 'The Spirit' does not look like it's going to be a strong contender in that field...

After seeing the first trailer I was excited since I am a fan of the extreme black and white technique used in Sin City and think it is a very unique visual style. As more trailers came out I started to lose hope that the movie was going to make it through without blowing up in comic book movie ridiculousness. Trailer 2 contains some horrendous acting, some atrocious lines (see: comic book dialogue not meant to be spoken), and far too many closeups. I'm not familiar with the comic, but it looks like the Spirit has some kind of harem of women who he alternately fights and plays with and they are all probably controlled by some guy called the Octopus.

Yeah, Samuel L. Frankly the best part of this movie is probably going to be Samuel L. Jackson. Actually i'm going to predict that will be the only part of this movie which will be worth the $11 ticket.

The Spirit is due out December 24.

Dragonball Evolution: Chatwin's Hair FTW

Dragonball Evolution: Trailer 1 @ Official Site

Dragonball Evolution: Trailer @ FirstShowing.net

Dragonball Evolution is the long awaited adaptation of the Japanese comic/cartoon/video game/everything series that revolves around the quest of super humans to find and gain control over a bunch of mystical, orange dragon...balls. Dirty thoughts aside, the original series has a large fanbase in both Japan and America which makes it surprising that it took so long to finally bring the adaptation to the big screen.

Watching the trailer, however, makes you believe that perhaps the Dragonball franchise was better off staying in its original territory. The 'Evolution' title is appropriate though as the movie looks like some kind of super hybrid of a WB show and the Sci-Fi channel movie of the week. Surely having the advantageous genes of both the WB (pretty young people) and Sci-Fi (explosions and aliens) will make the offspring better at finding food, seeking mates, and attracting a wider mass audience.

Sadly natural selection doesn't really function in Hollywood and this movie will probably find its way to maturity and spawning other offspring. The CG work is horribly blended with a blaring (not in an acidy trip Speed Racer kind of way, but in a Joel Schumacher kind of way) color palette to boot. Lighting and costume design looks to be a solid step above Mighty Morphin Power Rangers level so you should brace yourself for some rubbery looking villains and good guys. Let's not go into the little 'acting' that was left in there, i've hurt you enough already. Frankly I just feel sorry for Chow Yun Fat having to be involved with this, if only he had told someone he was so desperate for work we could have done something. Anything. Now it's too late.

Critics who actually have to watch and review this will want to put on a look something like Justin Chatwin as Goku. And that would be like you're in the process of passing a kidney stone the size of a golf ball. This trailer actually made my brain hurt.

Punisher: War Zone; More Like Poor Zone.

Punisher Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers
Punisher Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

Ok, I realize that Punisher:War Zone (hereafter referred to as P:WZ) has already been released, but after seeing the trailers I have to put in my two cents. Plus I promise that I have not yet seen the ratings it's received so my prediction should still be objective.

The modern comic book movie was born during my childhood (Batman 1989) and it holds a special place in my heart, the place filled with scary Michael Keatons' and wacky Jack Nicholsons' dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight....Because of this special childhood bond I am compelled to love the comic book movie genre as there are countless great stories and characters just waiting to find a wider audience. Just look at what Dark Knight did this summer and the potential for great film is clear. However comic book movies also have the same potential (at this point we can say it's a tendency) to deliver poorly written, produced, and directed crap because all those involved know they will make a pile of money anyway. It looks as if P:WZ is going to fit squarely into the latter category.

Frank Castle, aka Punisher, is on a mission. A mission to deliver lines and deliver them with all the conviction of someone trying to open a pickle jar with two Christmas hams duct-taped to his hands. Many writers and producers don't seem to realize that most comic book dialogue is just not meant to be be spoken exactly the way it's written in the comics. (Or maybe they realize that ripping the script straight from comic book writing is a lot cheaper than having someone write a full original script.) There is very little chance that the line, "Sometimes i'd like to get my hands on God." is going to come out of the actor in a non-absurd sounding way.

Bad dialogue aside, the trailers are a visual trainwreck and a half. Between the neon disco lighting, cartoonish set design, and the villain's patchwork makeup it looks like a perfect storm of horrid filming sure to cause many "My God, I actually spent money to watch this. Look my wallet, it's empty and this movie was the thing that took it from me." Oh, and there is a villain that sounds and acts like a messed up Al Pacino a la Scarface.

Sometimes i'd like to get my hands on the time I spent watching this trailer.

TrailerHound Previction: 20%