Monday, December 8, 2008

Punisher: War Zone; More Like Poor Zone.

Punisher Trailer 1 @ Apple Trailers
Punisher Trailer 2 @ Apple Trailers

Ok, I realize that Punisher:War Zone (hereafter referred to as P:WZ) has already been released, but after seeing the trailers I have to put in my two cents. Plus I promise that I have not yet seen the ratings it's received so my prediction should still be objective.

The modern comic book movie was born during my childhood (Batman 1989) and it holds a special place in my heart, the place filled with scary Michael Keatons' and wacky Jack Nicholsons' dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight....Because of this special childhood bond I am compelled to love the comic book movie genre as there are countless great stories and characters just waiting to find a wider audience. Just look at what Dark Knight did this summer and the potential for great film is clear. However comic book movies also have the same potential (at this point we can say it's a tendency) to deliver poorly written, produced, and directed crap because all those involved know they will make a pile of money anyway. It looks as if P:WZ is going to fit squarely into the latter category.

Frank Castle, aka Punisher, is on a mission. A mission to deliver lines and deliver them with all the conviction of someone trying to open a pickle jar with two Christmas hams duct-taped to his hands. Many writers and producers don't seem to realize that most comic book dialogue is just not meant to be be spoken exactly the way it's written in the comics. (Or maybe they realize that ripping the script straight from comic book writing is a lot cheaper than having someone write a full original script.) There is very little chance that the line, "Sometimes i'd like to get my hands on God." is going to come out of the actor in a non-absurd sounding way.

Bad dialogue aside, the trailers are a visual trainwreck and a half. Between the neon disco lighting, cartoonish set design, and the villain's patchwork makeup it looks like a perfect storm of horrid filming sure to cause many "My God, I actually spent money to watch this. Look my wallet, it's empty and this movie was the thing that took it from me." Oh, and there is a villain that sounds and acts like a messed up Al Pacino a la Scarface.

Sometimes i'd like to get my hands on the time I spent watching this trailer.

TrailerHound Previction: 20%

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